Monday, December 5, 2011

Santa on steroids

O.k. ladies, gather round with your cups of Christmas cheer and find out what happens when you leave things up to the men.  Yesterday I left for a shopping trip to the mall (hate).  My husband and son were going to get the tree.  Now usually we all go together and make a big production out of it.  Even though my girls are grown and moved out, we still get together as a family for the tree shopping.  It goes something like this: argue about what day to go, argue about where we are going to buy the tree, then go out to dinner first (including another argument about where to eat), then lots of drama at the tree lot (of course) and finally bringing it home to decorate.  I love my family.
For a few years we were getting the tree flocked with a light dusting of the fake snow, but this turned out to be a pain, since we had to come back and pick it up the next day.  Nobody wanted to do that and usually ended up with more bickering and in the true spirit of Christmas, led to comments like (cover your ears if you offend easily) "Flock you" and  "Flock off".  So much for Peace on Earth.

Are you still with me?  This picture makes me dizzy.  Anyway, back to yesterday.  We haven't been able to coordinate schedules, so we broke with tradition and the GUYS bought the tree.  Since we moved into this house, my husband and son have wanted to put in a HUGE tree.  Something so big and filled with testosterone, that it belongs in a town square, with hundreds of little WHO characters linked arm in arm singing "Fa Who Do Ray", or whatever Seussism  is chanted.  But us three girls,(estrogen) kept the purchase balanced and practical. Not. This. Year.
When I got in from shopping, the smell of pine slapped me in the face and cleared my sinuses.  I thought the whole tree lot was in my living room.  Well almost.
I have to hand it to them, I don't know how they got it in here.  I  envisioned them cutting a swath through the house like a giant tree tsunami, leaving behind a pile of area rugs, lamps and pictures off the wall.  Putting up a tree this size would be worth a divorce if my husband and I were trying to get it into the stand.  But they did it, and I don't want to know how, especially the part where my son was hanging over the balcony to put on the tree topper. (Women would have put the topper on when the tree is laying on the ground right?)
I don't even have a tree skirt for this thing.  To the boys credit, they put down some old pool towels to protect the hardwood floor.  There is a big metal stand under there with wooden shims to keep it straight.  Yes you heard me. Shims.  This is turning into a Home Depot project.
Tonight we go out to dinner, then come back and trim this behemoth.  It should be hilarious.  I will need to get more lights today.  We may blow a fuse.


  1. It smelled good at first but then after a while not so much. I think I lost a few nose hairs last night. They're probably mixed in with the pine needles on the floor.


  2. Well you can help sweep them up tonight when you come over. I have clothespins for your nose. I told you we should have bought a fake tree this year. (and so we continue to spread the Christmas comment love)

  3. That is the most awesome tree I have ever seen! Kudos to your guys for picking out the BEST TREE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

  4. LOVE it! That really made me laugh. My boys are still fairly young but are seriously disappointed that we have a fake tree. Me too, but Australia just doesn't seem to do good real trees. I've learnt that it's often better to leave the house when men do things and not ask questions! Can't wait to see it decorated!
    Sandra x

  5. Hahahaha! I love this one so much. Especially the pool towel tree skirt. Men are so resourceful. It does look like a 30 Rock tree, but I think you've got the ceilings for it. Hope you have enough ornaments to cover it. If not, get crafty! Great post. :)

  6. That is a glorious tree! I heard talk of you wanting to get a fake tree this year. But who would want to give up such a grand family tradition! :)

    ps I love your blog! You're such a great writer and you make such beautiful things! I wish I could be crafty like you. I think you could give Martha Stewart a run for her money! You could totally host your own show from Galt... how glamorous that would be?! :P


You guys are awesome! Thank you for the comments!